Not Afraid Anymore
by a girl who likes hockey
Summary: Angeles and Poe head to Coreilla, to mourn the loss of her personal pilot. When his widow speaks about their lives, Angeles questions why she is afraid to tell Poe that she loves him. It turns out that she is not the only one afraid to confess their feelings.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars characters; however, Angeles Dollslayer character is mine.**

Life was good for Angeles Dollslayer. The galaxy was at peace, and she has a new family. She was at the wedding of her half brother Ben Kenobi, and his bride, Padme Desertwar. Ben and Padme had adopted Caleb Syndulla, and the couple was also expecting. Angeles was both the maid of honor and best woman for the ceremony.

Everyone was ready to go inside for lunch when Angeles' watched beeped. She groaned and said,

"I'm sorry. I have to take this call." She walked a few feet away from the small gathering in order to have privacy.

"Hello?" Angeles said.

"Angeles, it's Leslie Skyrider," she heard Leslie's voice.

"Leslie, how are you? I am at my brother's wedding..."

"I am so sorry to disturb you. But I thought you should know. Jack died last night."

"No," Angeles thought to herself. Jack Skyrider, her personal pilot since she became a senator, was dead. She had given him the week off, since she had the wedding, and Poe could fly her to wherever she needed to go.

Trying to remain calm, she said to Leslie,

"I am sorry, Leslie. Jack was a wonderful man. Do you need anything?" The Skyriders never had any children, and both their parents were deceased.

"I could use some company," Leslie confessed sorrowfully. "Jack adored you. He said you were the daughter we never had."

When Angeles heard this, she softly wept. She never knew Jack felt this way about her. She wiped her tears away and told Leslie,

"I will say goodbye to my family, and come to Coreilla. You should not be alone at a time like this."

"Thank you, Angeles," Leslie said in appreciation. "I will be here, waiting for you."

The call was disconnected. Angeles sighed sadly. She almost jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Poe.

"What's wrong?" Poe asked, noticing how upset she looked.

"Jack died last night. Leslie just called me." Angeles told him.

Poe immediately embraced her. It was not fair. She just lost her father, Hux, and most of her colleagues. And now, she lost Jack? His heart ached for the woman he secretly loved for years.

"The food is ready," Caleb said, as approached Angeles and Poe.

"Ok. We will be there in a minute," Poe said to the boy, but faced Angeles.

Caleb looked up to Angeles and said,

"I'm sorry, Auntie, about Jack." Before Angeles could react, the boy skipped away.

"I need to tell Ben and Padme that I am not staying," Angeles said, as she and Poe walked into the Amidala estate. They were the last ones seated at the table. Angeles had the food catered from a well known restaurant in Naboo.

"The food is delicious!" Brienne, the former Captain Phasma, stated. "It's even better than the food the First Order had. Which is saying a lot!"

"That was the only good thing about the First Order," Finn, the former Stormtrooper replied, before shoving food into his mouth. Brienne laughed at his comment.

"I'm glad you like it," Angeles sighed with sadness in her voice. To everyone that was there, she said,

"I am going to have to leave. My personal pilot just passed away, and I need to visit his widow."

"i am sorry to hear that," Ben told her. The rest of the group offered their condolences.

Angeles personally said goodbye to everyone, and gave her brother and new sister-in-law hugs.

"You are not going alone," Poe suddenly said. "I am going with you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars characters; however, Angeles Dollslayer character is mine.**

"Poe, that's not necessary..." Angeles began to argue. But Poe raised his hand to silence her.

"I insist. Come with me. You said Leslie lives on Coreilla. We can get there on the Ghost."

Angeles saw there was no chance of changing Poe's mind. So she nodded her head in agreement.

"Congratulations," Poe said to Ben and Padme. He said his goodbyes to everyone else before he and Angeles left the estate.

After two quick stops to their homes, to pack a small suitcase of clothes, they boarded the Ghost. Angeles shared some of her favorite stories of Jack while Poe flew.

They landed in Coreilla, and rented a car to drive to Leslie's home.

"Angeles!" Leslie exclaimed, as she opened the door. She embraced the young woman, and it did not take long for the widow to break down in tears. Angeles did not know what to say, so she held Leslie in her arms.

Drying her tears, Leslie said to them,

"Come inside, both of you." They entered the house, which was tiny.

"I can sleep on the couch, and you and your husband can have the bedroom." Leslie explained.

"Leslie, Poe's not my husband..." Angeles explained, a little embarrassed.

"Oh dear! I just assumed since he came with you... Jack always told me not to assume things..."

Poe saw that Leslie was about to break down in tears again.

"It's okay, Leslie," he told her. "You stay in your bedroom. Angeles can have the couch and I can sleep on the floor."

"No, please. You are my guest. I will sleep on the floor," Leslie insisted, very embarrassed by her wrong assumption.

"It's fine. I'm in the military. I insist."

"My apologies. Can I make it up to you with a home cooked meal?"

"Absolutely," Poe replied, with a smile on his face. It never ceased to amaze Angeles how charming the man she loved could be.

After the delicious home cooked meal, Leslie prepared the couch for Angeles to sleep on. She gave Poe three blankets and a pillow. The next morning, they would leave for the cemetery, where Jack would be laid to rest.

"Thank you both for coming," Leslie told them. "It will make saying goodbye to Jack easier. I will see you in the morning."

"Goodnight," Angeles replied, before Leslie went to bed. She and Poe took turns using the bathroom to change.

"Goodnight, Angeles." Poe said, as he covered himself with a blanket.

"Goodnight, Poe." she replied, making herself comfortable on the couch. She soon fell asleep, but Poe stayed awake.

He was uncomfortable, for a couple of reasons. First, unless he spent the night crashed on Angeles' couch, he slept in the nude. Second, he never slept this close to her. He always insisted on sleeping on the couch rather than in one of the guest rooms. Poe felt it was too risky to be in a spare bedroom, since they were near her bedroom. Now he was merely feet away from her.

Poe was startled from his thoughts by her whimpering. He rose from the floor and approached Angeles, who opened her eyes.

"Poe, I had a nightmare," she confessed, her voice shaky. She sat up on the couch and he sat next to her.

"It's just a dream, Angeles," Poe whispered, stroking her hair. "Nothing to worry yourself about."

"It seemed so real! I dreamt I was Vader's prisoner again. He kept killing everyone I cared about! My parents, you, Ben, Padme..."

"But it's not real. Vader has been dead for years." Poe embraced Angeles, to help her calm down.

"Can you hold me, until I fall asleep?" she sweetly asked. Poe swallowed his throat.

"Of course," he replied, trying to disguise his nervousness. They laid down, her head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around her.

"Goodnight," Angeles yawned, feeling better.

"Goodnight," Poe replied, praying he would be able to control himself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars characters; however, Angeles Dollslayer character is mine.**

Angeles had another dream. She was in Poe's bedroom. She approached his bed, and was surprised to see him shirtless.

"Come. Lay down with me," he told her, as he patted the bed. She came and crawled in next to him.

"Poe, why are you...?" Angeles began to ask, before she was silenced by Poe's lips on hers. She wrapped her arms around him as he came on top of her and deepened the kiss.

"Stay with me," he whispered, as Angeles felt him unbutton the shirt she was wearing. He kissed her, over and over again.

"Poe," Angeles moaned, feeling her body bubble with desire.

"May I make love to you?" Poe asked, his brown eyes gazing intensely at her.

"Yes," she was barely able to say before giving him a passionate kiss. He took off her clothes and his pants. They held each other close as Poe made love to her. Soon, Angeles was crying out in pleasure, and Poe followed right after her.

Her eyes popped opened. It was morning, and she was cradled in Poe's arms. Her hear was still racing over the sexy dream she had.

"Good morning," Angeles heard Poe say. She pulled away from his embrace. "Did you have a pleasant dream after the nightmare?"

"Yes," Angeles replied nervously. She stood to her feet and Poe looked up at her.

"I'm glad you're not lying. Whoever was in your dream was a lucky man."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you kept moaning, and it was not moaning like you were in pain," he said with a mischievous grin on his face.

Angeles blushed in embarrassment. Poe had heard her cried of pleasure! Thankfully, Leslie walked into the room.

"Good morning," she said to them. "While you get ready, I will cook breakfast." Angeles was thankful for the distraction. She quickly gathered her clothes and got dressed.

After breakfast, Poe drove them to the cemetery. The priest was there at the gravesite. He spoke a few words before asking if Leslie wanted to speak.

"Thank you for coming," Leslie said to the three people there. "Jack and I first met in school. My family was wealthy, and his were poor. He was afraid to ask me out on a date, because he had no money. But what Jack did have was a good heart. So I decided to be the brave one and ask him out. He said yes, and we have been together ever since."

"In my almost forty years of marriage to Jack, I have learned that I need to tell the people I can about that I love them. We lost both sets of our parents, and due to an illness, I was not able to have children. But Jack was there for me, holding my hand, telling me everyday how much he loved me. Being honest with my feelings made it easier for me to grieve for my parents and my in-laws."

"Jack," she said, turning towards the coffin. "To my dying breath, I will tell you everyday how much I love you." She leaned down and kissed the coffin, tears falling down her cheeks.

The three of them travelled back to Leslie's home. The widow insisted that Poe and Angeles stay for lunch. Angeles was quiet during the meal. Hearing Leslie speak about being honest with her feelings made Angeles think about the dream she had with Poe. Sooner or later, her was going to ask her about the dream, and she would need to decide whether to tell him the truth about it.

"I will keep in touch, I promise," Angeles told Leslie, as she hugged her goodbye.

"Do not let him get away," Leslie whispered in Angeles' ear. She broke the embrace, and the widow winked at her. Thankfully, Poe was already in the car when Leslie said this.

They drove in silence to get onto the Ghost, and they did not say much on the flight back to Naboo. It was already dark when they landed.

"Poe, please stay over tonight," Angeles asked him. There was something she needed to talk to him about.

"Sure," he replied to her. To himself, he said,

"Great. Another night on her couch. Why can't I tell her how I feel?"

They reached the estate, and sat on the couch in the living room. Angeles was nervous, but she needed to do this.

"Poe, since Jack is gone, I need a pilot to take me back and forth between Coruscant and Naboo. Do you want the job?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars characters; however, Angeles Dollslayer character is mine.**

Poe was surprised, to say the least. He had been thinking about what to do, career wise, since now the galaxy was no longer at war. But to be Angeles' personal pilot meant that they would be spending almost all of their time together.

"Are you sure you won't get sick of seeing me all the time?" he teased her.

"Not at all," she replied with a smile on her face.

"Then I accept the job." Angeles threw her arms around Poe's neck. He held her close to him, wanting her badly.

Angeles gave him a kiss on the cheek. Poe was surprised, but said nothing. Then Angeles stared at him. He was not sure what she was doing, until her lips met his for a kiss.

"Ooh!" she squealed, quickly pulling away. "Poe, I am sorry..." Angeles bowed her head in shame.

He lifted her chin, so that their eyes met He saw something different in those brown eyes of hers.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not," Poe replied, before kissing her. He deepened the kiss, as he held Angeles in his arms.

"Please tell me it was me you were dreaming about last night," he softly whispered. Angeles touched his cheek and replied,

"It was you."

When she said that, Poe pulled her into a passionate kiss. It shocked Angeles. The man she had loved for years was kissing her!

"Thank the Maker!" Poe uttered, as his lips found Angeles' neck. She sighed contently, enjoying his mouth there.

"Please stay with me tonight," she said after Poe lifted his head.

"I am staying with you," he responded in confusion.

"Not on my couch. In my bed."

Poe had the biggest smile on his face when she said those words. He practically sprung to his feet. He offered his hand to help Angeles up, which of course, she accepted. Poe pulled her close and kissed her. Then to Angeles' surprise, he scooped her up in his arms, and carried her up the stairs to her bedroom.

They entered her room. Poe used his foot to close the door behind him. He gently put Angeles down on her feet. He was about to ask if she was sure about this, but his mouth was silenced by hers with a kiss. The kisses grew longer and more passionate, as Poe took off his clothes.

See Poe naked delighted Angeles. This was better than the dream she had! Poe pulled her close, and removed the sundress she was wearing. He groaned in pleasure, seeing her in only her panties.

"You're so beautiful," he uttered before kissing her, his hands caressing her back. Angeles held him tight, their chests pressed close together.

She pulled away, and Poe was momentarily confused. He was relieved when she took his hand and led him to the bed. She laid down and motioned for him with her hand to come. Poe gladly crawled on top of her.

"Make love to me," Angeles whispered in Poe's ear. He softly kissed her lips. This was their first time together, and he wanted it to be special. So he took his time, kissing and caressing her, until he heard her start to whimper.

Poe gently pulled off her panties, and passionately kissed Angeles as he entered her. She surrendered everything, her body and her feelings, to Poe. It did not take long for her to cry out in ecstasy . Poe soon followed, spilling his seed deep inside of her.

After they made love, Poe held Angeles close to him. He was overjoyed. She had been through so much pain in her life. He felt honored that he could give her some pleasure.

Angeles laid her head on Poe's chest. It happened. She and Poe were lovers. She softly caressed his arm. He turned and gazed at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, hoping she didn't regret what had just happened.

"I'm more than okay," Angeles said, with a big smile. Then her face got very serious.

"I love you, Poe," she finally confessed. "I have loved you for many years."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars characters; however, Angeles Dollslayer character is mine.**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Poe gasped, as his hand traced her cheek. He was shocked by her revelation.

"Because I felt I didn't deserve your love," Angeles sadly confessed. "I was upset with myself, because I loved both you and Armitage. I felt guilty and told myself I wasn't worthy of your love."

"Angeles, never think that way again," Poe sternly told her. He reassured her with a kiss.

"I love you, too," he admitted. "I loved you since I rescued you from Vader. But I knew you were heartbroken over Hux, so I decided to keep my feelings a secret. You got busy with work, and then the war came..."

"You loved me since then?"

"Yes. I guess we were both scared to admit what we felt."

"But not anymore. When Leslie spoke today, about telling Jack everyday that she loved him, it made me think of why I was afraid to tell you that I love you. The more I thought about it, the more I realized my fear didn't make any sense."

"Well, I am glad that you were brave enough to kiss me," Poe said, before leaning in and kissing her. His hand caressed her back.

"So I get to make love to my best friend AND my boss," he added, as his lips found her shoulder. "That is such a turn on." Angeles laughed at that comment.

"May I?" Poe asked, his hands stroking her arms.

"Yes," she replied. He took her into his arms and made love to her. Afterwards, she snuggled next to him , and fell asleep contently in his arms.

Angeles woke up the next morning, and breathed a sigh of relief. Poe was still there, holding her close to him. She felt his lips kiss her forehead.

"Good morning," he said with a smile. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"I did," she replied, wrapping her arms around his waist. "I was dreaming of you."

Poe grinned as he leaned in and kissed the woman he loved. He was full of joy. He loved her, and she loved him.

"When do you have to go back to Coruscant?" he asked, as he got off the bed to get dressed.

"Tomorrow. But today, I want to go visit Ben and Padme. I feel bad, since I had to leave early," Angeles said wistfully.

"I'm sure they understand." Angeles rose from the bed and got dressed. After a quick breakfast, they left for the Amidala estate.

"You look nervous, my love," Poe said to Angeles, as they waited to be let in.

"They will know," Angeles replied. The door opened, and a very happy Twilek boy greeted them.

"Auntie!" Caleb exclaimed, as he lifted his arms. Angeles picked him up and carried him inside.

"I wish you wouldn't call me that," she reminded him, as she and Poe walked from the foyer into the living room.

"How are you doing, little one?"

"I'm happy, because my Auntie is happy," Caleb replied, looking straight at Angeles. "Although..." His face got very serious.

"What's wrong, Caleb?" He looked at her and said with a scrunched up face,

"Too much kissing! Yuck!" He stuck his tongue out, disgusted by the thought. Angeles' face turned red. Poe couldn't help but chuckle at Caleb's comment.

"I guess I can't hid the truth in this family," Angeles uttered, as she put Caleb down. Ben and Padme walked into the room.

"Caleb, why don't you go upstairs and play for awhile?" Ben said to his son. He left and the four adults sat down.

"We're happy for both of you," Padme gushed, as she held Angeles' hand.

"However, if you hurt my sister, I will hurt you," Ben warned Poe.

"Ben, stop!" Padme scolded him, annoyed at his overprotective nature. "Ignore him, Poe."

"I have no intentions of ever hurting her," Poe said to Ben, but was looking at Angeles. She smiled, knowing that Poe was telling the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Wars characters; however, Angeles Dollslayer character is mine.**

Caleb was playing in his room when Poe knocked on the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Yes," the six year old replied. He was on the floor, playing with a toy X-wing. Poe sat down next to him.

"Who gave you the X-wing?"

"Ezra," Caleb replied sadly. "He said he was going to teach me how to fly..." Suddenly, he started crying.

"It's ok, Caleb," Poe reassured him, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder to comfort him.

"Thanks. He gave it to me for my birthday last year. I miss him, and Mom, and Chewy, and Sabine..."

"Come here." Poe embraced Caleb. "They would be so proud of the young man you are becoming." Poe wiped his tears away from his little face. "You are a precious gift to Ben, Padme and Angeles."

"What about you?" Caleb asked, his face serious.

"Yes, you are a gift to me, too." Caleb smiled when he heard Poe say that.

"Speaking of gifts," Caleb said, his tone much more cheerful. "Can you give me a gift for my seventh birthday?"

Poe laughed. Only a little child would be so bold to ask for a birthday gift. But he decided to play along with the boy.

"It depends. What do you want for your birthday?" Poe asked. The words Caleb said next surprised him. With an intense look on his father, the boy said,

"I want you to ask Auntie to marry you, so that I can call you Uncle Poe."

"I don't know..." Poe nervously said.

"She'll say yes."

"Caleb, your aunt and I , we need time..." Poe tried to explain. But how do you explain being in a romantic relationship with a six year old.

"No, you don't. She loves you, you love her. Stop wasting time," the boy sternly told him.

Poe saw there was no arguing with Caleb. To appease him, Poe said,

"I will think about it, okay? But I don't want to see any tears if it doesn't happen."

"Okay," Caleb promised, as he hugged Poe. His little heart knew that he would getting what he asked for.

After Poe left the room, Caleb sighed. He was happy that Auntie Angeles and Poe would be getting married someday. But he also saw their future pain.

"Why did Vader have to be so mean, to hurt Auntie, so that she can't have babies?" Caleb thought to himself, as he saw a vision of Angeles being tortured by the late Emperor.

"Uncle Poe will help her," he encouraged himself. "They will adopt a child, just like Ben and Padme adopted me." The little boy went back to playing with his toy, happy that his auntie was happy.


End file.
